


Sometimes the only payoff for having any faith is when it's tested again and again everyday

by gwendolynejones_stacy



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BAMF Natasha Romanov, Civil War Team Iron Man, Female Peter Parker, Gen, My First Fanfic, Natasha is so done with this shit, Not Steve Rogers Friendly, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Peter is Penny bc the author wants to be Peter, Pissed of Natasha, so be nice please, so when Nat is talking abt Tony's child that's why it's all female descriptions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:27:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26513665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwendolynejones_stacy/pseuds/gwendolynejones_stacy
Summary: Natasha is just having a conversation with a certain super soldier after the happenings of the "Civil War" about how she found her Shellhead passed out in Siberia.
Relationships: Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark
Comments: 15
Kudos: 264





	Sometimes the only payoff for having any faith is when it's tested again and again everyday

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, if you're reading this.
> 
> First of all, welcome to my brain space. It's a wonderful place, if you know how to navigate it. Second, this is the first time I ever decided to post something. I never in a million years thought I would, but look here we are. So, please be nice with my very fragile heart. Third, I don't own any of these characters, all credit goes to Marvel, Stan Lee, Steve Ditko and every other awesome person who worked on the characters.
> 
> The title is from the Fall Out Boy song: Immortals
> 
> Anyway, I just wanted to clarify some things. This was originally part of a multi chaptered fic that I am writing, but I decided to change some things in said fic and now this doesn't exactly work with the rest anymore. Which is why some lines of this might seem off, I tried to change them as much as I could, but it is what it is. It is also why Tony has a daughter aka Penny, who really is just Peter, but female. And it is also the reason I gave Wanda so much exposition, everyone in the MCU just keeps on calling her a "kid". So, I thought why not actually make her one and now she is 17 almost 18. Also to add on to the famous tragic backstory, HYDRA took her in right after her parents died when she was 10 along with her brother. Yes, I'm taking a lot of liberties with canon, but I don't care. Her arc was butchered by canon, she could've had such an awesome redemption, but no why would we possibly want to see that? Oops, I got off topic and started rambling, oh well. Point is, I'm here to fix canon.

There were quite a few things that were unknown about the infamous Black Widow, even most of her teammates didn’t know her that well. Then again, they never tried to get to know her better. If they had, they could’ve known what her real name is, when her birthday is, who her parents were before they died, what kind of hobbies she had, what movies she loved and which ones she hated. They would’ve known that Clint Barton whilst a good friend not her best, that title belonged to one Anthony Edward Stark. They could’ve known why and how, but alas they never asked so they didn’t know and she stayed an enigma to most of the world.

And if they had gotten to know her better, it wouldn’t have been such a surprise to see her expertly sneaking into the kitchen of the Rogues on a Sunday night. The Wakandan palace was very beautiful and helped her stay in the shadows, of course she had permission from King T’Challa. But hey who could blame her for wanting to scare the living shit out of them. Today is the day they’ll learn why she was the only Black Widow left standing.

⎊

It was quiet in the quarters of ‘Team Cap’, when it happened. Steve was in the kitchen cooking, unaware of the nearby danger of the Black Widow. There were three gunshots fired all narrowly missing his head. Before he could turn around, the person who fired spoke. “Sometimes the only payoff for having any faith is when it’s tested again and again every day. But not this time apparently, I hope you know that you were one of the few people I actually trusted and what did you do with it? You took it, spat in it and threw it right back at me.”

It was Natasha, he saw when he did turn around. “What do you mean spat in it?” He asked, confused.

“I mean that if I feel like shooting again, I won’t miss. So, don’t make me feel like shooting,” Natasha hissed, eyes full of fury.

“What the hell is going on?” Sam yelled, as he and Wanda ran into the kitchen. Clint had a furious wife giving him an earful and Scott was currently talking to a very angry Hope van Dyne.

Natasha ignored them in favour of watching the good Captain. “Yeah Rogers, why don’t you tell us what the hell is going on?” She asked, keeping her face and voice dangerously blank.

“Nat, what are you talking about?” Sam asked cautiously when Steve kept silent, attempting a stare contest with the floor. And believe me when I say, usually the floor wins.

“Well since you asked and the dear captain over there,” she nodded in Steve’s direction, “is silent as ever. Let me tell you a fun story.” She scoffed before adding, “Fun if you consider being beaten half an inch from death.”

At her comment Steve visibly recoiled. “That is not what happened, he–” Steve finally lifted his eyes from the ground and spoke defensively.

“Oh really, because from where I’m standing that’s exactly what happened. Now if you value your life you will shut up until I’m finished. Or do I need fire again?” She interrupted him not wanting to hear his excuses. Looking around she raised an eyebrow, inviting any of them to defy her. When they didn’t, she moved on.

“Very well then, let’s take a walk down memory lane. I’ll admit that I’ve made a few mistakes, but the biggest one by far is trusting you, Steve.” He looks like he’s going to protest, but falters under Natasha’s glare.

“I trusted you to tell him, you promised me you'd tell him. I thought you told him and he didn’t want to talk about it, so I didn’t ask. Then the Vienna bombing happens and Tony seems a lot less compromised than he should be. So, I have to ask myself ‘Did you tell him?’ I want to believe you. I trust you and boy was that a mistake. Because imagine my surprise when I get a call from FRIDAY in distress saying she lost all contact with her boss. Something which shouldn’t be possible unless the suit and the arc reactor within was completely destroyed. At the time I just got out of a UN meeting, because I let you go, they wanted an explanation and rightfully so. Rhodey was still in surgery, Vision stayed at the hospital so he wouldn’t wake up alone and Pepper was broken.

“And let me tell you, that is not something easy to achieve. I have seen that woman live through unimaginable circumstances without losing her cool. This, though, this was her breaking point. One of her best friends was in surgery with the likely outcome of never walking again. Her children, because that is what they are to her no matter the blood relation, were blaming themselves for their father going missing. And the love of her life was missing for nearly 30 hours before I managed to find and rescue him. Not to mention their company that was in shambles. Believe it or not, but when the former CEO turned superhero and current CTO/Head of R&D goes missing for an extended period of time, people tend to panic.

“Now, back to Tony, wanna know how I found him? No? Well too bad, because I can’t ever get that image out of my head. I found the man, who I’ve been calling my best friend for the past 22 years passed out from the Siberian cold in a puddle of his own blood, with his suit still on because it was broken to the point where he couldn’t get out. And to my surprise there is a certain shield in the same room and not to mention the Winter Soldier’s metal arm. So, please explain to me Rogers, how the hell was he supposed to get out after ‘cooling off’?” She finished coldly staring at Steve, who was looking anywhere but her. At one point she might have felt bad for him, but that time had been long gone.

“Wait what are you talking about? Tell who what? Pepper and Tony have children? Tony is your best friend, I thought that was Clint? And Steve what the hell happened in Siberia?” Sam practically yelled through the silent kitchen.

“He didn’t tell you?” Natasha ignored all the questions except for the last, even though it was aimed at Steve. “No, just that Tony went rogue on them and they fought.” Sam shook his head. “Typical,” she scoffed, because of course he wouldn’t.

Wanda wisely kept quiet, contrary to popular belief, she did not hate Stark, she never did. True they did not get along at the beginning, due to their circumstances and mistakes they both made, mostly on her part. However, they had been working on it and actually came quite some way, nowhere near friends, but it was a start. She is woman enough to admit she made some very stupid mistakes in her past, but she is also smart enough to know not to piss a mad Black Widow even more off. Steve apparently did not know this and seemed to have regained some sort of courage. She did not know whether to call it courage or stupidity, probably the latter.

“He was going to kill Bucky,” Steve said defensively at the mention of Siberia.

“No, he was not and even if he was, he had a damn good reason. Wasn’t it the same reason Wanda wanted to kill Tony a few years back?” Natasha countered unimpressed.

At the mention of her name and that horrible mistake she made, Wanda looked up, still not daring to speak, though. Tony had told her he had forgiven her, as she was quite literally a child when it happened and HYDRA had immediately taken her and her brother and started what he called ‘indoctrinating’ them, not that she knew what it meant then. She hadn’t even known Tony stopped weapons production until after she had joined the Avengers. But despite what he had told her, she couldn’t help but feel guilty.

“It wasn’t him, he didn’t do it,” Steve restated idly, unaware of Wanda’s flinch and Natasha’s grip tightening on the knives she had been toying with, where she even got those no one knows.

“Is your record broken, because it seems like that’s the only thing you can say? Besides Tony wasn’t the one who killed Wanda’s parents either. It wasn't even his missile; he didn’t deal with anyone in a civil war. So, even if it was a SI missile, it was sold from the black market and we all know that Obadiah Stane, Tony’s godfather. You know the one who actually ripped the arc reactor out of his chest, when he still relied on it to keep him alive. He was the one dealing under the table. But it probably was not even a real SI missile, because SI missiles always go off. They don’t sell the ones that don’t work, not even on the black market. So, no it wasn’t Tony who killed her parents, but you were all too happy to condemn him for it. ‘Mr. Sometimes my teammates don’t tell me things’. Hypocrite,” Natasha replied as she was playing with one of her knives, expertly turning them between her slender fingers.

Silence broke over the group of four. Sam was shocked he did not know what was going on, but he was losing his patience very quickly. Wanda was less shocked, but that was only because she knew most of the things that were mentioned. That didn’t mean she did not flinch when her past mistakes were brought up. She and Tony talked about it; she knew that her misdirected anger at Tony was meant for Obadiah Stane. What she hadn’t known was that Stane was Tony’s godfather or about ripping the reactor out of his chest. It made her mad not at anyone but herself, how she treated someone who had been through so much, without a second glance. She should’ve known better, but she had to wonder what was it that happened in Siberia that was so similar to her situation? Steve on the other hand just stood there silently as a deer caught in the headlights.

“Steve I’m losing my patience, there is clearly more going on then I know about. So, start fessing up, what actually happened in Siberia?” It was Sam who finally broke the eerie silence that had fallen over the heroes.

“That is something I would like to know as well,” Wanda spoke for the first time since coming into the kitchen.

“Tony came after us in Siberia, to help us with the soldiers. But they were already dead when we arrived, it was a plot to get us there. Zemo was there too and he showed us a video and Tony, well he didn’t handle it very well. We fought,” Steve admitted after a while.

“That’s not all that happened is it, now captain? Why don't you tell us what the video showed?” Natasha ordered. “The video was of December 16th 1991, the day Tony’s parents died or should I say were murdered,” she added with more emotion than they had ever heard from her.

“Murdered? I thought they died in a car accident?” Sam exclaimed horrified. Steve looked as if he were about to be sick.

“Didn’t we all?” Natasha stopped toying with the knife in her hand. “But, that’s not all.” She stood up from the counter she had been sitting on.

“No, to make matters even worse Tony had to watch his parents being murdered with the killer five feet away,” she stalks up to Steve, “Then when he asks you about it, not only do you lie about it first. But when you do tell him that you knew and he’s understandably upset. So, what does he do? He punches you right in the self-righteous face and you?” She points her finger accusingly, jabbing it directly into his chest, before taking a deep breath to calm herself a bit. Even though she knew, it was helpless and she would get worked up again within a matter of seconds.

“What do you do? Instead of calming him down, you fucking fight him. Two super soldiers against a man in a tin can who just watched one of those super soldiers kill his parents in cold blood and the other try and lie about knowing. Do you know the amount of trauma you gave him? You hit him with your Vibranium shield straight to the chest repeatedly. Not only did you cause new trauma, but you opened all sorts of old wounds, to his already mutilated chest. In case you forgot, the arc reactor was in his chest at one point. It went right through his sternum and you just gave him more damage. It’s a wonder he’s even alive, he should’ve died before I found him. But he didn’t and if you are wondering why. Because he has a daughter to take care of, he kept going because there is a girl out there who already lost her mother and stepfather to a plane crash and had her uncle bleed out in her hands of a gunshot wound. And that’s without mentioning how her aunt tragically died during the alien invasion in 2012 or even everything that happened since that kidnapping that resulted in the birth of Iron Man. That’s why, next time you decide to keep a secret and make me complicit in it, I want you to think of that girl and wonder if there’s maybe another child who might suffer like that. Understood?” At some point Natasha let go of her training and started yelling in frustration, as she had zeroed in on Steve. She looks him in the eye, unyielding as he tries to avoid her intense gaze.

She raised her eyebrow waiting for confirmation, all he can do is nod meekly, before she punches him in the face. “Been wanting to do that for a while now,” she muttered, turning around to Sam and Wanda who look like they might throw up at any given moment now.

“Tony and I have been working on getting you a pardon, which should be ready within the week so start packing.” And with that Natasha leaves.

“Fuck,” muttered Sam, staring at the empty space that was previously occupied by Natasha. “Steve, what the hell man? You left him behind? That’s the first thing they teach you, no man left behind. I get that you were emotionally compromised, but so was he. At the end of the day he’s still an American and a civilian at that. If he’d been dead, you’d drag his body with you. Even if it’d be the last thing you do,” Sam shook his head as he left to pack his stuff.

“That’s not,” Steve started but Wanda cut him off, “No that’s exactly what happened, Bucky might have been brainwashed, but I wrongfully blamed Tony for the death of my parents for years, then tried to kill him as revenge and look what he did for me. He fed me, clothed me, gave me a roof above my head, he made sure I got an education, not to mention how he already defended me against the whole world once, after Ultron. He would’ve understood, if you just told him when you found out.” Wanda got up and left to pack the few items she had, leaving Steve alone with his thoughts.

And for the first time since coming out of the ice, Steve truly realized what he had done and how wrong it was. He imagined how he would feel in Tony’s circumstances. He imagined if it were his mother who had brutally died at the hands of a friend turned, however unwillingly, foe. He remembered Howard, his friend, the one who made his shield. The one person who never stopped looking for him in all those years. He thought about Maria, Howard’s wife and Tony’s mother and so much more, but he wouldn’t know. Because all he could think about were his own needs, his own wants, his own agenda. Never once stopping to think about anything else, not his teammates, not the people of the world he said he defended, not Tony.

Tony, who had lost his parents at age 17, before he even graduated college, leaving him alone to not only fend for himself, but also the millions of people working for Stark Industries. Tony, who drowned himself in drugs, sex and alcohol, because he was grieving, because he felt alone, because once he started he didn’t know how to stop. Tony, who had a daughter, a daughter who had narrowly avoided being orphaned. Just like how Tony had been orphaned, at the hands of one he had considered a friend. Oh what he wouldn’t give to change the past, but it was too late. And now it was time to accept the consequences of his actions, maybe try to apologize and make amends, but deep down he knew it would be to no avail.

**Author's Note:**

> If you find any mistakes please let me know, I have this thing where my brain thinks too fast and my hands can't type fast enough. So, sometimes there are words missing. And once again, I don't own any of these characters.
> 
> If you wanna talk my tumblr is @gwendolynejones-stacy


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